Your husband, spouse, or romantic partner has been unfaithful to you in some way. Porn addiction. An affair. Prostitutes. Sex addiction. Or other problematic sexual behaviors. You feel confused, overwhelmed, devalued, and angry. Yep, angry. But also insecure, embarrassed, and even a sense of grief.
You’re just now starting to realize how to hurt you were by your partner’s addiction. Maybe you’ve feeling constantly on edge, having trouble sleeping, or have a constant sense of stress. It’s like you can’t trust anyone anymore, maybe not even yourself.
You are devastated. And Angry. And Confused. Maybe you are embarrassed and your self- esteem has taken a huge hit. It’s hard to trust anyone right now, even yourself. You feel like a private investigator constantly checking your partner’s text messages, social media accounts, and even their reaction when women come on the television screen. In fact, you feel anxious every time your partner is looking at or speaking to another woman. You want to trust them, but you just can’t get there right now.
That’s the question that just keeps coming up for you. All you ever wanted was to feel loved and treasured. You wanted to feel like you were a priority to your partner, that you were enough. Was that too much to ask?!? It doesn’t feel fair that you are having to go through this. When you first realized what was going on, it felt like the rug was pulled right out from underneath you. Now, you’re just trying to figure out how you move forward. You want to feel confident and whole again.
First, I have to start by saying that you are not your partner's problem. You are not responsible for their choices. Then, it’s important you understand that you can get back to being you. It is possible to find healing.
I am here to meet you in your pain. As a therapist who specializes in problematic sexual behavior, I have worked with many individuals that are dealing with the effects of their partner's addiction. I have seen them reclaim their sense of identity and purpose. Through counseling, I can help you gain insight into what happened. But more importantly, I can help you rediscover yourself.
Dealing with betrayal is difficult for anyone and is especially hard to discuss. If you don't feel that there is a connection after the first counseling session, I am more than happy to provide a referral for another provider to assist you.
As we begin counseling, I can help you grieve the loss of the relationship you thought you had. I’ll help you gain insight into what happened. For instance, we may explore how things that happened to you earlier in life could possibly be leading you to choose emotionally unavailable men.
Through counseling, you will learn to value yourself again and develop healthy boundaries. You’ll learn to affirm yourself and be confident, so you aren’t constantly looking to your partner to fill a void.
As your confidence grows, we’ll work through the trauma of the betrayal. We may also work through some past hurts and pains. I use a very effective form of trauma therapy called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy.
It is possible to find healing and regain your sense of self.
You can move from this sense of feeling confused, lost, angry, and even broken… to a better place. Through counseling and reflection, it is possible for you to find healing and feel secure in who you are again. You’ll have a new perspective and be able to set healthy boundaries. Matter of fact, you’ll not only be able to set boundaries in relationships but be able to stick to those boundaries as well.
What do you have to lose? Your spouse or partner cheated, but you don’t have to let that define you. You deserve to know what a healthy relationship looks like and to have your needs met in a relationship. Let me help you find your way and give you the tools you need to help yourself.
You deserve to feel respected and valued in relationships. You deserve to feel confident and whole again. One of the best parts of my job is helping people find healing and wholeness after feeling beat down by the shock of betrayal. However, I understand these situations are complicated. Therefore, at my Fort Worth, TX counseling clinic, I offer also counseling services for partners who did the cheating including help for those struggling with sex addiction and porn addiction. When appropriate, I also offer couples counseling and affair recovery to help committed couples make a marriage or relationship work even after problematic sexual behaviors have occurred. I’m here to support you on your journey to freedom and healing.