Your husband, spouse, or romantic partner has been unfaithful to you in some way. Porn addiction. An affair. Prostitutes. Sex addiction. Or other problematic sexual behaviors. You feel confused, overwhelmed, devalued, and angry. Yep, angry. But also insecure, embarrassed, and even a sense of grief.
You’re just now starting to realize how to hurt you were by your partner’s addiction. Maybe you’ve feeling constantly on edge, having trouble sleeping, or have a constant sense of stress. It’s like you can’t trust anyone anymore, maybe not even yourself.
You are devastated. And Angry. And Confused. Maybe you are embarrassed and your self- esteem has taken a huge hit. It’s hard to trust anyone right now, even yourself. You feel like a private investigator constantly checking your partner’s text messages, social media accounts, and even their reaction when women come on the television screen. In fact, you feel anxious every time your partner is looking at or speaking to another woman. You want to trust them, but you just can’t get there right now.
That’s the question that just keeps coming up for you. All you ever wanted was to feel loved and treasured. You wanted to feel like you were a priority to your partner, that you were enough. Was that too much to ask?!? It doesn’t feel fair that you are having to go through this. When you first realized what was going on, it felt like the rug was pulled right out from underneath you. Now, you’re just trying to figure out how you move forward. You want to feel confident and whole again.
First, I have to start by saying that you are not your partner's problem. You are not responsible for their choices. Then, it’s important you understand that you can get back to being you. It is possible to find healing.
I am here to meet you in your pain. As a therapist who specializes in problematic sexual behavior, I have worked with many individuals that are dealing with the effects of their partner's addiction. I have seen them reclaim their sense of identity and purpose. Through counseling, I can help you gain insight into what happened. But more importantly, I can help you rediscover yourself.
Dealing with betrayal is difficult for anyone and is especially hard to discuss. If you don't feel that there is a connection after the first counseling session, I am more than happy to provide a referral for another provider to assist you.
The first part of counseling is helping you feel comfortable in your therapy sessions. I recognize your trust has been broken, so it may take you some time to feel comfortable opening up to someone you just met. That’s alright. We can take this at a pace that feels comfortable for you. I want you to feel safe and supported while discussing the trauma you’ve been through as a result of your partner's betrayal or addiction.
In the initial days of counseling, I will support you as you grieve the loss of the relationship you thought you had. Together, we will process what happened and how you feel about it. We may even talk about things in your past that are contributing to your current choices and keeping you stuck in a negative cycle of disappointing relationships. For instance, we may explore how things that happened to you earlier in life could possibly be leading you to choose emotionally unavailable men.
In counseling, you will learn how to prioritize your needs. This means learning to value yourself and develop healthy boundaries. My goal is to boost your self-confidence so you aren’t constantly looking to your partner to affirm your worth or entering into co-dependent relationships.
As your self-esteem grows, we will begin to work through the trauma of your partner’s betrayal. We may also look at how your past is influencing your present struggles. Sometimes, trauma from your past can cause poor self-worth and make it hard for you to feel worthy of your partner’s best behavior. We want to make sure we address these things fully so you can move forward feeling confident that you truly deserve the best. You deserve to have a partner who treats you with respect and is faithful to you and your relationship.
You don’t have to stay stuck in a painful relationship. It is possible to heal from betrayal trauma with help.
You are a strong individual. So you can go from feeling confused, lost, angry, and even
broken… to feeling emotionally secure and healthy. Counseling can give you the tools to heal the pain you feel so you can move forward in your life and your relationships. After counseling, you’ll have a new perspective and be able to set healthy boundaries. Matter of fact, you’ll not only be able to set boundaries in relationships but gain the strength needed to stick to those boundaries as well.
You deserve to feel respected and valued in relationships. You deserve to feel confident and whole again. One of the best parts of my job is helping people find healing and wholeness after feeling beat down by the shock of betrayal. However, I understand these situations are complicated. Therefore, at my Fort Worth, TX counseling clinic, I offer also counseling services for partners who did the cheating including help for those struggling with sex addiction and porn addiction. When appropriate, I also offer couples counseling and affair recovery to help committed couples make a marriage or relationship work even after problematic sexual behaviors have occurred. I’m here to support you on your journey to freedom and healing.