How to Be in a Relationship with a Traumatized Person

Dealing with trauma in a relationship requires a more careful approach. Now, we aren’t talking kid gloves here, but more of a deep understanding of the person you are in a relationship with. Why? Because approaching this deeply impacts the emotional connections, communication, and trust. When you’re in a relationship with a trauma survivor, you need to be aware that they might have triggers. These are things that can bring back the trauma and cause them to feel distressed or overwhelmed.

Approaching this aspect of the relationship with sensitivity and understanding is important. Trauma presents complex challenges when it comes to intimacy and trust. This can lead to barriers being created in your relationship, even if you are both committed and in love. However, by being intentional in your approach, you can build a strong and supportive relationship with a traumatized person

Recognizing the Effects of Trauma in Relationships

One of the most important parts is noticing that there is trauma in the relationship. Just as you hear that early prevention is key for your mental health, it’s also essential in recognizing the effects trauma can have on your relationship. It’s incredibly difficult to build a healthy, loving relationship when one or both partners are struggling with unresolved trauma. This can lead to misunderstandings and unhealthy patterns of behavior that can damage the relationship. Here is how

Emotional Responses and Triggers

Trauma can really impact how someone reacts emotionally. You might see increased anxiety or a strong need to avoid certain situations. These reactions often tie back to past experiences and act as self-protection. Staying aware of these triggers can help you understand why they react in certain ways and avoid exacerbating the situation. Or, if you have trauma yourself, it can help you both support each other through these difficult moments.

Trust Issues and Boundaries

Trust is a cornerstone in any relationship. But for someone who has experienced trauma, it can be particularly challenging. You or your partner might find it hard to fully trust others, even each other. This is due to your past experiences. You know your partner isn’t the same person who caused your trauma, but your brain and body? They don’t. What they see is a similar situation, and this can lead to trust issues and difficulties in setting healthy boundaries. So, respecting their boundaries or asking them to respect yours can demonstrate that you’re not only a team but people each other can rely on.

Communication Challenges

Talking about what you’re feeling in your brain, body, and heart is challenging on its own. Now, there’s an element of trauma being added. Not only does it not feel safe to share but it’s really hard to put all of what you are feeling into words. This also goes for your partner. They might struggle to communicate their thoughts and feelings accurately. Why? Not only is it hard, but they might not even know how they are feeling, or better yet, why. It’s a complex process and one that can be overwhelming for both of you. No matter who has trauma or who doesn’t, working on communication and actively listening to each other is important.

Building a Safe and Supportive Relationship

Emotional and physical safety is important in any relationship, especially if you or your partner have experienced trauma. Having a safe environment to express feelings, be authentic, and not worry about judgment is crucial. This begins with nurturing the emotional safety in your relationship. It allows your partner to see you as a reliable and consistent person. How do you do this? Validate your partner’s feelings without judgment. This can look like, “I hear you and I understand why you feel that way.” It’s not about fixing their emotions, but rather showing empathy and understanding.

This empathy allows your partner to feel secure and supported, even when discussing difficult topics. It also means respecting their boundaries and avoiding triggers as much as possible. Having boundaries for both partners is necessary to maintain a healthy and supportive relationship. This means you both have to have an open discussion about comfort levels and what might trigger one another. However, do this when you’re both calm. If one partner is triggered, take a break and revisit the conversation when both of you are in a better headspace.

Resist the Urge to Try to “Fix” It For Them

You also need to realize, that you cannot fix their past. I know it’s tempting to want to take away their pain and trauma, but this isn’t something you can heal for them. This is a journey that they need to go through on their own with your support. You can only help support their future healing by being a consistent and understanding partner. This looks like being there for them when they need you, listening without judgment, and understanding their triggers. It also means not forcing them to talk about or confront their trauma before they are ready.

Encourage Their Healing and Growth

Healing from trauma is not just a journey you go on in therapy, it’s an ongoing process in daily life. Encourage your partner to prioritize self-care and seek professional help from a trauma therapist in Fort Worth, TX  if needed. However, if your partner is not in trauma therapy, encouraging them to seek help can be a sensitive topic. So, instead of bringing it up in moments where your partner may be triggered or in distress, discuss it during a calm and safe moment. Remind them that you are there for them and support their healing journey.

Ways to reassure or validate them during this process is by reminding them of their strengths, progress, and the love they have in their life. For instance, you can remind them of the progress they’ve made in therapy or how resilient and strong they are for facing their past trauma. You can say, “I know going to trauma therapy is hard, but I am so proud of you for taking care of yourself and your healing.” Also, remind them of the love they have in their life. This can look like, “I am here for you and I love you no matter what. Your past does not define you and I see the amazing person you are today.”

Taking Care of Yourself

Supporting a partner who has experienced trauma can be rewarding as you get to see the person you love grow and heal. But, it can also be extremely draining. It sounds harsh, but it’s the truth. Even though you can be your partner’s cheerleader and biggest supporter, you need to safeguard your own well-being too. Focusing on your self-care ensures that you can maintain a healthy emotional and physical state. Not only to support your partner but just be a healthy individual. Everyone’s self-care looks different, so find what helps you recharge and maintain a strong sense of self.

This can be seeking support from a Fort Worth trauma therapist for your own trauma, or just engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Don’t feel guilty for taking care of yourself, as it ultimately supports your ability to support your partner. Plus, when you are in therapy, you can feel free to talk about your emotions and unmask your own trauma without worrying about causing distress to your partner. Also, you can talk more about your role in your partner’s healing with a trauma therapist in Fort Worth, TX who can give you personalized guidance.

Supporting a partner who’s been through trauma isn’t easy, but it can bring you closer and strengthen your relationship. Remember, communication, emotional safety, and taking care of yourself are key factors in supporting your partner’s healing journey. With patience, understanding, and love, you can help your partner heal from their past traumas and build a strong and secure relationship together.  So keep showing up for each other and don’t be afraid to seek professional support when needed. You both deserve to heal and thrive in your relationship. 

Support Yourself and Your Partner With Trauma Therapy in Fort Worth, TX

Trauma doesn’t have to be a deal breaker in your relationship. Seeking support from a trauma therapist in Fort Worth, TX can help both you and your partner navigate the healing process together. Trauma therapy in Fort Worth, TX can provide a safe and supportive space for both of you to work through your individual traumas, rebuild emotional security in your relationship, and strengthen the bond between you and your partner. At Anew Counseling DFW, we specialize in trauma therapy and helping individuals and couples heal and grow from past traumas. Our therapists are dedicated to providing compassionate and effective support for you and your partner.  If you’re ready to take the first step toward healing and growth:

Sometimes, trauma can affect more than your relationships, it can also impact your mental health and overall well-being. At Anew Counseling DFW, we provide a variety of individual counseling services designed to help you heal and thrive in all areas of your life. In addition to trauma therapy, we offer a range of specialized therapy services at our Fort Worth, TX practice, including, couples therapy, sex addiction recovery, pornography addiction counseling, anxiety therapy, and depression therapy. Our dedicated team of experienced therapists is here to support you on your journey towards healing and growth. Contact us today to learn more about how we can help you overcome trauma and create fulfilling relationships in your life.